The Week in Weird

Korn in porn, Metallica on trial and more

While the music of Korn has never struck us as, shall we say, suitable for setting a romantic mood, frontman Jonathan Davis seems to think he's got the knack for turning out aural Viagra, as evidenced by his decision to score an as-yet-untitled porn flick he's working on with his wife. Deven Davis, who's starred in such critically acclaimed celluloid classics as Maximum Cock, figures to be prominently placed in front of the camera as well, and -- we shudder at the prospect -- her hubby intends to deliver a brief nude cameo as well. On the bright side, Fred Durst has yet to find a way to get the lens cap off a camcorder, so full-frontal Limpness is still a ways off . . .

Since we've never really been all that keen on the idea of doling out the death penalty -- other than to some of the land's more brain-cell deficient skinheads -- we're pleased to note that a man who claims Metallica drove him to commit murder has had his sentence commuted for the time being. Troy Kunkle, who was convicted of shooting a robbery victim to death back in 1984 -- while belting out the chorus of Metallica's "No Remorse" -- claimed that James Hetfield's lyrics (and not the desire to snag thirteen bucks for a quick dose of crack) were the catalyst for his deeds. The U.S. Supreme Court, perhaps moved by testimony that -- and we are not making this up -- Kunkle played air guitar along with the song when it was played at his original trial, issued an indefinite stay of execution. With that out of the way, perhaps we'll finally get the Supremes to lend an ear to our pleas about getting Scott Stapp out of circulation . . .

What's a band to do when it wants desperately to follow in the footsteps of Fountains of Wayne, but lacks the budget to hire Rachel Hunter for a long weekend of fun and frolic. Well, if you ask Hoobastank, the answer is to settle for the next best thing -- once you remove the 173 or so discarded exes of aging rock stars -- on the list. After a bit of editing, the Stank boys came to the conclusion that Joan Jett would be the ideal choice to play a "hot mom" in the video for "Same Direction." While that's a disturbing choice for any number of reasons, we suppose we can be thankful that Hooba and company didn't take the risk of launching a full-fledged Lita Ford revival . . .

Since R. Kelly was, for some reason, unavailable for the job, it naturally followed that James Brown would climb atop a soapbox to advise the world's youth that he'd make an ideal role model. The Godfather of Soul, who's on tour in Europe between arrests, told the Irish Examiner that should anyone ask, he's always available to offer lessons on "discipline, politeness and manners." Brown also focused in on the younger generation's pervasive lack of style, which he says he finds utterly disheartening -- and, judging by the amount of work he puts into his look for each and every mug shot, he's not only talking the talk when it comes to fashion.


DAVID SPRAGUE
(Posted Jul 09, 2004)